Relationship Mood Board – How to Celebrate Your One Year Anniversary!!

Dear Readers,

As you all may already know, Jason and I celebrated our one year anniversary on June 25, 2018. Since it was on a Monday, we decided to have our anniversary dinner on Saturday, June 23. Here are some pics from our dinner at Sukiyaki House:

On our actual anniversary date on June 25, 2018, Jason and I made a Mood Board!!!!

What is a Mood Board?

Ideally, a Mood Board is a giant poster/board that hold photos, and words that lead towards inspiration. Ultimately, a Mood Board should help you visualize what you’re thinking or dreaming about in your head. By putting all of these creative ideas or dreams or visions you have from your head, into something physical such as a poster paper, can help you channel out your energy the right way. It helps you determine the goals you have in mind, and pushes you to believe and strive towards those goals.

The power of the mind is no joke. Have you ever heard of the saying, “the more you think, dream, and pray about it, the more it’ll come true”. The Mood Board, is the visual representation of that saying.

The idea of making a Mood Board came from my best friend, Tamika. Originally, she told me to make one for myself only… but then I realized, why not make a “Relationship Mood Board” instead?!?!

Jason and I gathered photos from the internet that represented the 5 most important things in our relationship. These 5 are:

1.) Family

2.) Home

3.) Pet

4.) Travel

5.) Cars

This is how our Mood Board looks like:

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As you can see, at the back of our board we wrote a special letter from our “current selves” to our “future selves”.  It’s a reminder of who we are right now, and who we aspire to be… just in case, somewhere along our lives wherein we might forget.

A quick summary of the 5 most important things in our life, and the photos we selected.

  1. Family – Jason and I want to have 2 kids. We also want to establish our careers as CPAs (Chartered Professional Accountants) and land stable jobs. We both agree that job security is important in order to maintain a happy family.
  2. Home – Thankfully, we both agree to a modern looking house, and modern decor. I want a nice kitchen, with white marble countertops, white walls, and modern furnitures. Jason wants a gaming room, wherein he can play his gaming computer, TV, Xbox, and Play Station (typical guy, I know).
  3. Pet – This was mostly MY IDEA. I grew up with two cats, and ever since I lost them, I’ve been relentlessly dreaming of owning my own pet cat. Ideally, I want a fat grey cat, just like the one on our Mood Board 🙂
  4. Travel – Both of us want to travel the world before we officially settle, get married and have kids. At the top of our travel bucket list includes, Philippines (my country of birth), China (Jason’s country of birth), Mexico, and Las Vegas (Jason enjoys gambling – so this would be the perfect getaway for him!).
  5. Cars – Our dream cars all happen to be in white colors!!! Mine would be the G-Wagon, and his are the other two cars on the board (I have no idea what they’re called).

I love our Mood Board!!!

It’s the best source of inspiration, and motivation to keep on going. It’s truly a physical way of viewing our dreams as a couple. Now that I have it up in my room, every time I glance at it, I feel so much more inspired… more motivated… more ambitious… and it feels as if my dreams, are not too far away.

Our Relationship Mood Board, represents the goals that Jason and I are working towards. Each couple must have these sets of goals, because having an end goal wherein both partners can work towards is key to a lasting relationship. How dull would your relationship be, if you and your partner have no dreams… no shared visions… no shared goals… A couple must always, always dream and work hard together, because that is truly the key to a beautiful and long relationship.

Remember this, “the glory and joy of achieving your goals as a couple will taste so much sweeter, because the couple dreamed it together, worked for it together, and are living in it together. Don’t let your fear hold you back… support each other… encourage the other… and one day, in God’s good grace, you’ll have everything in your Relationship Mood Board too!” 

With love,

Mary Dezleigh Teodosio.

How to Overcome the Breakup Pain

Dear Readers,

We’ve all been there. Breakup. Heartbreak.

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You see, it may as well be breakup season since most of the people surrounding me seem to be going through a breakup or some sort of relationship downturn. It’s not the greatest feeling, and this is coming from a woman who had suffered heartbreak before. Viewing relationships now as a person in a healthy and strong relationship with Jason, really puts a lot of things into perspective. There are so much pain that a breakup brings, yet the lessons you learn throughout the breakup process is really something that will strengthen your character, and help define who you are.

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Before I dive too much in, please do not assume that Jason and I are going through a rough patch. You see, this blog was originally a relationship blog, and I just wanted to touch base with my roots. This post is for the other girls out there who currently have broken hearts.

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Let me tell you how you can overcome the breakup pain. Coming from a “professional relationship guru” – duhhhhhh.

I’m going to be honest with you – the first month after a breakup will be hell. You will spend the first few nights crying and the next few days feeling empty. But it is important to feel all of it. Cry your eyes out. Lay in bed and feel that pain. You must submerge yourself in the pain. Take note of how your heart beats for the love it cannot receive… take note of how your mind still stirs clear with the memories… take note of how your body is still functioning despite the pain you’re feeling inside… take note of how you’re still breathing… take note of your heartbeat, silently reminding you that you’re still alive… even after this breakup, you must understand that you still have a life to live.

There are 5 key steps you must go through after a breakup.

1.)  Cry it out

  • If you must cry it all out. There will come a point wherein the tears will eventually stop. For now, let yourself cry… don’t hold it back. Letting it out earlier is the fastest way of moving on. You definitely do not want to be that person 6 months or a year from now, who is still crying over a breakup…. nope, not you. In that case, the sooner you let your tears out, the faster you’ll arrive to a healed heart.

2.) Find an outlet

  • By any means, you must find ways to pull yourself together – you need an outlet. Think of an outlet as an “escape”. In your case, you need to escape the breakup pain. The sole purpose of an outlet is to help you escape the pain, even for a few hours. Outlets are distractions. For the most part, we all have plenty of outlets. School and/or work is one of our biggest outlets. We have our jobs, and some of you will have classes to attend. By dragging yourself to your office or by waking up early for that lecture, actually helps elevate your mind away from the pain. The idea is to have your attention diverted to other important things, not just your heartbreak. The more ways you can think of to distract yourself from the ugly reality of your breakup, the better.
  • Outlets can be people too. Your friends and family are the best outlets to reach out to during a breakup. They’re the ones who will know exactly what to say and what to do to distract you from the pain… they will know exactly what to do to make you feel at ease… and they will know exactly what to say to make you feel a little better.

3.) Don’t go back

  • We’ve all been there. The consideration of second chances and going back to your ex will be very, very appealing… you will probably consider calling him or texting him about 100 times during the few nights after the breakup. It’s a common response. We all want what we can’t have, even though we know it’s not good for us. Think about all the chocolates you’ve eaten a little too much of… You knew it’s not good for you, yet you still ate that extra box of Toblerone… Eating that extra box of chocolates and wanting to go back to your ex after a breakup are the same thing. It’s not good for you, yet I know, you’re going to do it anyways.
  • TRUST ME – you’re better off without that person. There’s a reason why the relationship failed and/or failing. Unless that problem had been sorted out, there’s no chance of “going back together” will work out. You can’t expect a bucket to get full with water if there’s a hole at the bottom… so what do you? You fix that motherfucking bucket, or replace it.

4.) Love yourself

  • I sound like a broken record, because this two word phrase, sentence, quote, whatever you want to call it, is my motto. “Love yourself” – the most important lesson that all of us must learn.
  • A healthy relationship always stems from the foundation of self-love a person has for herself/himself. How do you expect to love others, when you can’t even love yourself??? I know love is supposed to be selfish… but it’s not supposed to be selfless.
  • As painful as this sounds, the people who often fall out of love are those who lost sight of who they are. Once a person starts to lose themselves within the relationship, is when shit starts to fall apart. Literally. So, before you start jumping into a new relationship again, make sure that you have mastered the ability and skills required to prioritize yourself first. You owe it to yourself to have enough self-love, that your next partner can enjoy your love, and you can too. There’s nothing sexier than a lady who have her shit together.

5.) Grow

  • Just like the flowers, I hope you blossom during the spring after a cold winter. I know that you’ve probably been spending the past few days crying and feeling like shit… and that’s totally okay... I just want to assure you that one day, you’ll wake up a different person. After all this drama, you’ll be so much stronger, more beautiful, more independent, more of yourself than you’ll ever be. You’re going to grow.
  • Growth is an aspect of our lives we must always pursue. We all have room for growth, may it be in our relationships, careers, personal life, or even creatively. Growth is growth, and you must always strive towards it.

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Who we are as an individual is not defined by the failed relationships we had. Who we are, is defined by how well we rise above the challenges in our life. Who we are, is defined by the obstacles we conquered and our drive to continue pursuing a happy life. Most importantly, who we are is defined by the capacity of our hearts to give and receive love.

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*Photo was taken on June 25, 2017 – the day Jason Yang asked me to be his girlfriend*

The right love will come, and when it does, all the pain you endured will feel worthwhile. 

With love,

Mary Dezleigh Teodosio

My New CAR!!! Here’s to a New Chapter!

Dear Readers,

On April 26, 2018, I said “goodbye” to my first car, a 2001 Chevy Cavalier. My first car was quite a special one. Regardless of how beaten up it was, it was a part of my journey throughout high school and throughout university. That car took me places I’ve never been before. That car was a part of countless carpool jams…. countless late nights at Crescent Heights… countless heartbreaks…. countless memories that I will never, ever forget.

My first car was passed on to me by my step-dad, Steve. It was pretty much his first car too. Remarkably, that car lasted in our family for a complete 17 years without ever failing us. It’s been through a lot with me. In high school, unlike many kids my age, my first car gave me freedom. Being able to drive a car at the age of 16 was a privilege. Ever since I got my learners, that car was pretty much with me everyday and everywhere I went. That car has seen some crazy and wild things, been through my highs and lows, and through all the stumbles and falls… it’s been a good old friend…

I remember driving my friends to parties and clubs in my Cavalier. I remember late nights of just sitting in that car, talking about dreams and fears with my dearest friends. I remember driving cold winters to school… driving my family around… driving myself around… My Cavalier was a beast… literally.

As time kept rolling, my Cavalier started to weaken. The brakes needed work and its windshield wipers was pretty much broken. (Most of my friends literally witnessed me physically pouring out washer fluid on to the windshield just because my car wouldn’t spray it out – this has become an inside joke between all my friends and I… and this is a perfect example of my car’s dysfunctions… it was a struggle).

And so, like most chapters in a book, my Cavalier’s chapter came to an end. As my brakes came too unbearable and too scary to drive, we had to let it go and replace it with something new… (don’t worry, the Cavalier is still in our family’s hands!!! Just with a different driver/owner, fixed brakes, fixed engine, and fixed windshield wipers – this blogpost is seriously just for the dramatics of showing off my new car)

Here are pics and videos to commemorate my old, 2001 Chevy Cavalier:

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AND NOW, I INTRODUCE TO YOU, MY NEW CAR!!!!!

This is the 2017 Honda Civic Coupe, Touring.

 

 

This car is quite a beauty. It comes with leather seats, wireless charging, custom rims and tires, and my favorite part… it has a huge compartment inside!!! I can literally fit a bag of chips beside me while driving and still feel comfortable. Not to mention, the all black paint job and rims that totally makes the car look sexier!

I also picked a coupe over a four-door car, simply because this car is my, “I’m not having babies until I’m 30 car“. I wanted to get a car for me, and Jason ONLY. To me, the idea of having a four-door car screamed, “kids” and “carpool”… 2 words I don’t want to deal with for the time being. The coupe seemed more like an appropriate choice for a lady, who’s only in her early 20s… a lady with no kids yet, and a young lady transitioning into a young adult!

As a recent university graduate, I consider this car as my first adult purchase. However, this is also my parents’ grad gift for me. We established to share the cost of the car. As soon as I start working, I’m paying for my own insurance, gas and maintenance costs, as my parents pay for the bi-weekly car payments. So, all in all, its a good deal for a young adult like me! It’s also great gift from my generous mom and dad!

This is truly a blessing. I am thankful for all that I have. Sometimes, life can push us to our limits. In some cases, we tend to focus purely on the negatives. For instance, I’ve always envied people who drove nicer cars… faster cars… more expensive cars… yet I forgot to be thankful for the fact that I had my Cavalier. There were times wherein I overlooked my blessings. My Cavalier may not had been the best, but it was still a blessing to have. I soon realized, that there are people who wants to drive and/or own a car but can’t afford to, would gladly switch spots with me. Owning any car that was able to take me places I wanted to go, was better than its opposite. Regardless of how beaten up my Cavalier was, it was still a reliable car that took me to my desired destinations. That’s when I realized the value of all things and how I must take what I have as a blessing in its own light, rather than comparing it with what others have. The more I became more grateful, the more I realized just how much blessings I truly had.

But heyyyyy…. this Civic, is a bigger blessing and I’m incredibly thankful for it!

With love,

Mary Dezleigh Teodosio.