My First Magazine Feature!!!!

May 15, 2017

Dear Readers,

This blog and everything in it expresses me!!! This blog represents my dreams, goals, my being, my core, my life and purest joys. Since the launch of my blog, I had been receiving great praises and high support with “dezleighh.com”. This magazine feature which my friend wrote for me is truly remarkable and inspiring. The experience of being interviewed and having another write about my past experiences was different and unique. The best part of this interview is having to read and see the finish product!!!

This magazine article is amazing!!! Please, give it a read:

FULL MAGAZINE PDF

 

magazine-2017 (dragged)-page-001

Once again, thank you so much Amy!!! This magazine and your blog needs more attention and readers!!! Check out Amy’s blog at:

http://www.thaomibui.com/

With love,

Mary Dezleigh Teodosio.

Peace of Mind

May 8, 2017

Dear Readers,

It makes me sad to reflect upon my past and the people whom I used to hold the dearest in my heart. Particularly, I had been thinking a lot about the last person I loved dearly. I often find myself questioning all the endless possibilities of what we could had been… All the potential we had… And all the dreams I hoped for which had him in it.

I know we ended for a reason, for a deep purpose, and perhaps, it’s for the better.

“In all honesty, I miss you. I miss our conversations. I miss your company. I miss your humour. I miss your sarcasm. I miss your family. I miss your touch. I miss all of you… Above all, I miss US and everything that we used to be.”

Regardless of how much I miss you and long for you, these are still not enough reasons for me to forgive you. You destroyed me in the most painful possible way. A big part of me died when you did all the terrible things you did… all the lies, the betrayals, the harsh rejection, the pain… all of these shattered me. Many months after, I’m still repairing myself from all the areas you destroyed and recovering from all the torn places you left behind. I’m still pathetically picking up the crumbs of my being, and rebuilding a stronger foundation for myself.

Yet you still had the fucking audacity to interrupt my current peace of mind through an overdue “I’m sorry” text, many, many, many months later. 

“What was the purpose of sending me that text on a random Sunday night? What did you want? We already had enough closure and you had clearly moved on. SO, PLEASE, TELL ME, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT FROM ME?”

Isn’t it frustrating, how each time you finally think you’re about ready to take another step forward, your past haunts you back. In the past, each time my EX would come around through the slightest of ways such as a text or call, I would always respond and allow him back in. Each time I reply to his random texts, they all end in the same way… ending to me feeling broken, cheated, used, and hurt once again. I’ve made this mistake of entertaining him way too many times, but not this time.

This time, I’m strong enough to keep going and move forward. I’m finally strong enough to ignore him. I’ve grown to understand that it will end in the same way as it always does… ending to me being too attached… and him not giving enough and wanting less. So why fucking bother. I’m tired of this cycle.

You see, an important lesson which I learned throughout my healing journey is that my peace of mind is very important to my well-being. I’d rather be at peace with myself than to be in total chaos in the company of someone I love. I’d rather be happy and at peace alone, than to be in the company of someone who interrupts my peace of mind. I’ve learned that if you can’t be happy within the confines of your own being, then there is absolutely no way that you will find happiness from someone else. So, please, do yourself a favour, and put yourself FIRST… always.

Do what is right for you and your peace of mind. If it will destroy your inner peace and awaken your inner demons, then don’t do it. Even if it kills you, learn how to handle the pain in order to maintain your inner peace. It may hurt so much right now, but in the long run it will create a stronger you and lead towards a happier you. Eventually, you will realize that you don’t need anyone to be happy, your happiness solely depends on you. On that Sunday night, it honestly killed me to ignore his text and it took every inch of my will power to ignore his text – But I did it, because I knew that I can’t go back to suffering that pain anymore. At this time, I should only focus on healing and moving forward.

To the broken,

Be strong for yourself, because you’re all that you need at this moment. Protect your peace of mind because the chaos will only keep you insane. I believe that you are strong enough to choose yourself, so please, go ahead and do it… choose wisely, and I hope you choose yourself.

With love,

Mary Dezleigh Teodosio.

 

 

 

You’re a QUEEN – Act and Think Like One!

May 3, 2017

Dear Readers,

After launching my blog to the public, I had been receiving a lot of social attention from my family, friends, and followers. I am so grateful for all the love and support I had been receiving lately. Words can not describe how meaningful it is for my posts to get noticed and adored by you all! Thank you.

Now, back to tonight’s post.

For some reason, many of you within social media, real life friends and peers, often approach me for “love advices”. I feel honoured to be able to give you all  my honest opinions about certain “matters of the heart”. But, little do you know, I’m not always the best leader to follow. Even though I seem perfectly composed and strong in my social media accounts, sometimes the aftermath of my last heartache still takes a toll on me. Regardless of how much I preach to you all about “moving on” and “letting go”, what I preach is often difficult for ME to follow.

I’ve already prepared myself for the ultimate event of my EX moving on to his next relationships. I’ve already visualized images of him and his “new” girl popping off in his Instagram and other social media accounts. Yet no matter how much mental and emotional preparation I did for this particular situation, when he posted new photos of a new “girl” on his Instagram, it still had me “shook”. I was affected and I was hurt… I was jealous… and I was annoyed. I thought I was ready to move on and ready to let him go. I was getting upset at the fact that something as little as 3 new photos of a “girl” on his Instagram account, went a long way in affecting my emotional behaviour. I was really, really, really distressed about it. How did a set of images affect me like that?

I CALLED MY FRIENDS AND THEY REMINDED ME, I DESERVE BETTER TOO. 

I may be a “love doctor” to many of you, but my “love doctors” are actually my best friends. You see, healing a broken heart is not an easy process because no matter how much you think you’ve healed, something as little as a poke can bring back all the pain. After making a few phone calls and deep conversations with my dearest friends, I realized I was being a little bitch about the whole thing. At this point, I realized that I was being silly for overreacting and feeling negative about those images. Like seriously, who cares about him and what he does? Why should I let him take a toll on my happiness? Why should I let some irrelevant girl affect a strong woman like me? Why be bothered by them, when I have so many great and beautiful things going on in my life!?!?! They are irrelevant to a queen like me.

And so I carried on and continued thinking like a queen searching for a real king.

Queens do not let any man bring them down from their rising glory and success. Queens do not get jealous, they strive to be better and best. Queens should not hold grudges, they must learn to forgive and to let go. Queens dictate their own lives and control their emotions and behaviours accordingly. Queens don’t behave like princesses. Queens are real women.

If you ever find yourself caught up in this situation, just remember:

YOU’RE A QUEEN. NO JEALOUSY. NO HATRED. QUEENS ATTRACT LOVE AND HAPPINESS. QUEENS ARE STRONG WOMEN. QUEENS UNDERSTAND THAT THEY ARE BETTER THAN THOSE WHO HAD HURT HER, AND WILL ALWAYS BE BETTER THAN THE PRINCESS FOLLOWING HER. QUEENS SEEK SELF-GROWTH AND NOT REVENGE. QUEENS WILL ALWAYS CHOOSE TRUTH, PEACE, HAPPINESS AND LOVE. QUEENS WILL NEVER SETTLE. A QUEEN WILL ALWAYS CARRY HERSELF WITH THE UTMOST PRIDE AND SELF-LOVE.

I’ve been acting like a queen for the past 6 months, why on earth should I degrade back to a princess’s mentality and behaviour?

Baby girl, you’re a queen, don’t be a princess. If the pain comes back again, even through the slightest bit, just remember… Queens will still carry on with their reign even though they are broken. A queen conquers all that threatens her peace of mind. I believe that in order to get over your latest heartache, you must view yourself as a QUEEN. You are a queen in all aspects, act and think like one – don’t let anything or anyone slow you down from conquering and reigning over your own life.

Carry on, my queens.

With love,

Mary Dezleigh Teodosio.