TWENTY-THREE

Dear Readers,

YOUR GIRL IS NOW 23!!!

My 22nd year of living literally felt like a storm. It all happened too quick, and so much has happened. From starting my 22nd year with my friends partying, to falling in love with Jason, to completing my final year of university, expanding my blog, discovering my future, and to travelling Kelowna… all of it happened within 365 days.

TODAY, I still stand the same influential, positive, charismatic, sweet and loving Dezleigh. The recent year taught me how to be braver, and matured me in ways I could never imagine. I learned that sometimes life will get so dark that keeping a positive outlook gets a little tough… yet, I learned that if you surround yourself with people who carry stars on their eyes, and the sun in their hearts… I learned that these people’s light and glow, will lead you out of your darkness.

At 22, I learned how to value my friends, family, and Jason even MORE.

To my friends, I owe them so much for being the support system I needed when I was emotionally drowning. They were my life vessel, that carried me through the days wherein I felt like giving up. Graduating university would never be the same if I didn’t have my friends by my side. My success is partially theirs. I am so blessed to have them in my life.

To my family, I’m so thankful to have such a loving and supportive family like the one I have. My aunts are my first best friends, who only want the best for me. My uncles are my first protectors, who are there to watch over my back. My dad is my idol, who showed me how to live life to the fullest no matter what. Steve is my superhero, who raised me into becoming a strong woman full of wisdom, courage, and bravery. My mom, is a goddess with the power to heal my broken wounds and empower my frightened soul to believe that nothing is impossible if I hustle, pray, and dream. My whole life would be meaningless without my family.

To Jason, throughout this whole year, you were by my side through each chapter – may it be good or bad. I am truly in awe and madly in love with you. You calm my storms, and make my sunny days last longer than normal. Through you, I had gained another family outside my family. Another branch in my family tree has been born because of you. Jonas, is like the brother I never had and your mom is like my second mom who graces me with gentleness and calmness. Above all, you had taught me so many things and I am just so thankful to have you around as I continue on with life.

fullsizeoutput_10bd2

Now that I’m getting older, each birthday feels a little sadder than the year before. Perhaps, it comes with the sad realization that I’m aging and losing my youthful years. But when I remind myself of all the great memories I made, the accomplishments I earned, the people who love me, and the great life I live – all of these combined makes me so happy and makes me feel so blessed.

This year, I will be travelling to Vegas to celebrate my 23rd birthday. Our Vegas trip is only the first of all the great things to come this year!!!

To my Readers, thank you for keeping up with me throughout the years. Without your support in reading, liking my Instagram photos, and supporting all my content, I wouldn’t be the influential Dezleighh that I am today. Thank you for embarking my life’s journey with me.

I pray that all my plans, goals, and dreams will come true in my 23rd year of life.

arrangingplants

With love,

Mary Dezleigh Teodosio.

When Girls Hate Each Other…

Dear Readers,

Millennials today have a big problem.

Nowadays, millennials measure beauty by the amount of likes and comments a girl can get on her Instagram photos. Thus, competition among girls lead towards aggressive and more negative forms. Today, girls online will simply hate on another girl just because she’s posting so much selfies which is attracting hundreds of likes each time. If a girl is getting more online attention, views, and followings, this can attract female jealousy and female hate. Other than online popularity, the less popular girls have their own share of online critics too. Today, it’s hard to find a place for a girl to express herself without being criticized or hated upon. It’s difficult to ignore that online attention can amount to both positive and negative types.

In this particular post, I want to address negative female behaviours towards their fellow females. Specifically, I want to talk about females hating on other females solely because of what they see online.

The idea of hating on another girl just because of what she posts online is absolutely horrific and sad for me. Most of this online hate comes in the form of “hate comments”, for example, “you’re fat”, “you’re ugly”, “try hard”, “ew”, and best of all, “slut”.

When girls hate each other, we go against the whole idea of women empowerment.

When girls hate each other, we prevent rising females to lead in an influential way.

When girls hate each other, we destroy each other’s self-esteems, and crush each other’s spirits.

Instead of supporting each other, women are sooooo good at dragging each other down. 

I truly, do not support the idea of dragging each other down. One girl who doesn’t fit the mold of societal beauty does not deserve to be criticized for her appearances. An Instagram model flaunting her god given gifts should not be criticized either. Any form of hate towards another girl’s appearance, clothing, lifestyle, or beliefs are unacceptable. Remember, if a girl is posting stuff online that DOES NOT HARM YOU OR AFFECT YOU, her postings should be none of your business. Yet, women’s inborn jealousy and arrogance will inevitably cause hate towards other women who she may perceive as a “threat”, or as “someone who is better than her”.

What happened to women supporting other women?

It doesn’t matter how big or small a girl is, how many followers she has, or what type of photos she posts online, because at the bottomline of it all, no one has the right to judge another by the way he/she decides to live and share their lives online. If someone is sharing posts that truly bothers you, my best advice is to, “unfollow”…. if it’s at the point wherein that individual is harming your peace of mind, the next best advice I have is to, “block”. Truly, there is no sense in starting online wars if the drama prevention steps, such as unfollowing and blocking are so easy to follow.

An Instagram influencer who works so hard on providing content, capturing marketable images, and starting a brand for her name, should not be condemned as one who is, “seeking for attention and fake” – She’s simply making moves and making a name for herself. This girl works so hard to get her creativity out, to create the best pictures and share meaningful content… why the hell would hate on that, is it because you can’t do it like she does? 

A girl who may only have 50 followers, have a different body shape than most, and may have severe social skills, does not deserve to be bullied online either. Who gave you the right to drag someone down… especially someone who is fighting her own battle against depression, handling her own mental issues and dealing with her other personal problems… This girl already has too much on her plate, and dealing with unnecessary online drama is punishment she does not deserve…who made you so perfect that you can freely criticize her appearance or life? 

We all have our battles. 

The online world is a cruel place to be for those who do not have tough skins, and strong minds. I feel bad for those girls who are always being put down on social media. Worst of all, I feel awful for those girls who lack confidence in themselves and thus feel the need to drag others down with them. Those girls who are so negative online, are the worst types of girls… I think that female online bullies have insecurities bigger than the girls they’re trying to drag down.

Females are just jealous creatures in nature. But this jealousy does not need to surmount your inner good. To type hateful comments online and to actively promote bullying requires action which is derived from one’s corrupted mind and heart. Instead of drawing energy from this, why can’t females just focus on the good instead?

Instead of promoting hate towards other females, why can’t we all just unite and support each other. Instead of commenting, “you suck”, why won’t you comment, “you’ll get better”. Instead of commenting, “you’re ugly”, why can’t you just say, “you’re pretty”, or say NOTHING at all. Some females fail to understand that their actions online have an impact to those targeted by their actions. One simple comment on a girl’s photo in Instagram can either make or break her day….

I choose to make her day. 

I’m the type of girl who would much rather comment positivity on someone’s page rather than typing negative comments. Remember, your actions online is also an image of who you are in real life. What you say online is a reflection of who you are. In so, I want to be someone who is known for being genuine, kind, and nice both online and in real life – this is why I choose to uplift females by saying nice things to them, complimenting them, and making them feel important. I would much rather be a positive female than a negative one. Think about it, doesn’t it make you feel good to be complimented?? Doesn’t it make you feel nice when someone else calls you, “pretty” or comments, “I love your outfit”?! So, why can’t we all just share this feeling of joy from being adored and supported… instead of making each other feel like shit?!

Online bullies will always exist.

The way to deal against these bullies is through unity in numbers. Think about it, there are more victims than there are bullies. If all of us victims, and non-victims support each other, I’m sure these online bullies will slowly disappear and stop. By making someone’s day as simple as commenting, “you’re pretty”, on their recent selfie online, or commenting, “good job”, on their most recent accomplishment, can outweigh any negative actions and ill wishes a bully will have. Our words matter. By saying or commenting something nice and sweet, can truly help to uplift someone who is having a bad day. Like I said before, we all have our battles… so why not ease each other’s battles by being a nice person to each other?

Spread love, not hate.

Don’t be that girl who hates too much on others, because when girls hate each other it’s a disease that will hurt as all. Remember, your online character/persona reflects you in real life too. So don’t act big and mighty online, when in reality you’re not.

HIKING THE CANADIAN ROCKIES

With love,

Mary Dezleigh Teodosio