The Key to Having a Positive Mind

Dear Readers,

In life, we will have many encounters of feeling down and low. Often than most, we truly need to strengthen our mental outlook of life. In times wherein it gets tougher to be positive, one must always remember that being a negative person does not lead towards anything great. Positivity is the answer to attracting the right people and the right opportunities. A positive mind can generate ideas like none other. A positive mind can empower one towards achieving set goals and dreams. The power of having a positive mind is the strongest superweapon of all.

The topic of keeping a positive mind is so important to me. As I recently shared, I’m going through some trivial moments, as well as transitioning into another chapter of my life (a.k.a being an adult). All of these mixed emotions can create a spur of joy with a sudden burst of fear. Thus, there are times wherein I find myself attracting negative thoughts and negative vibes. Personally, negativity is one giant word and idea I try to avoid at all costs. Negativity has this toll on me, once I let it in, even for a second, my mind’s regular and healthy flow is disrupted. I don’t fear negativity, what I fear the most is losing my positive nature because of it.

Not only do I have to overcome the lurking cancer scare around my family members (see previous post), I also have to overcome my own struggles. As a recent graduate with a degree, I’m facing the common struggles of many post-grads. These concerning issues includes:

-Student loans

-Debt

-Job prospects & security

-Financial capabilities

 

And many, many, many more. The list can go on for days if I wanted to. 

Despite my own share of stress and struggles, I’m forcing myself to maintain my inner positivity and clear state of mind. I want my objectives to remain clear and my focus intact. Throughout the years, I’ve realized that surrounding myself with negativity truly leads to no good. This quote I found online summarizes it all:

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The only thing that negativity has ever brought upon my life is doubt. A positive person knows full well that negative people will use their own doubts to pull them down. A positive person also understands that negativity creates doubt, which leads to fear. To be truly in control of a positive mind, one must understand the power of choice.

Each positive person must understand that they have the power to control their own minds. The freedom to force yourself to believe in the positive sides of life is truly liberating. A positive mind is an optimistic one, that views everything in its good light regardless of all the darkness surrounding it. A positive mind understands the power of training the mind to choose positive thoughts and thinking, rather than its opposite.

For each scenario, there will always be a positive and negative point of views. You see, the balance of life includes both positive and negative aspects. For example, Chinese philosophy highly describes life’s balance through the yin and yang. As famously known, yin and yang explains contradicting opposites as a way to achieve a balance. The circle symbol of a white pole and black pole signifies harmony. Without each opposite, achieving harmony and balance will be difficult. (Jason should really teach me more Chinese – their culture is quite fascinating!)

Now let’s use yin and yang in our positive minds versus negative minds analogy. Here’s an example for you to consider: A recent university graduate.

From our example above there are two possible ways of thinking about this:

1.) A positive mind will view this greatly because a degree means higher education; a higher education means greater opportunities.

2.) A negative mind will view this sadistically, by thinking about the student’s loans and debts.

What if we expand on our example. Now, consider this: A recent university graduate has no debt due to financial awards. 

Again, there are two possible ways of thinking about this:

1.) A positive mind will view this greatly because a degree means higher education; a higher education means greater opportunities. Given that the student has no debt, all his/her future salary can be saved for future goals e.i. a house, a car etc.

2.) A negative mind will view this sadistically, even though the student has no accumulated loans. A negative mind will then start to doubt the student’s career options given the competitive nature of the world.

Again, let’s further expand on our example. Consider this: A recent university graduate has no debt due to financial awards. After graduation, the student fails to find a job. 

The corresponding ways of thinking about this:

1.) A positive mind will view this greatly because a degree means higher education; a higher education means greater opportunities. Given that the student has no debt, all his/her future salary can be saved for future goals e.i. a house, a car etc. Since the new grad can’t find a position just yet, truly in the near future the perfect opportunity and window will come!

2.) A negative mind will view this sadistically, even though the student has no accumulated loans. A negative mind will then start to be a pessimist about the student’s unemployment given the competitive nature of the world. On top of that, the negative mind will be pleased to know that the student is currently unemployed. The negative mind will continue to doubt.

I think you all get the idea. 

The positive mind always focuses on the good things, while the negative mind always lingers around doubt. It’s the yin and yang of life. If there is light, there is also dark. But the best way to live, is by choosing to live in the light while understanding that the darkness exists. For each possible ways of thinking, the positive mind is always optimistic, hopeful, and joyful. On the contrary, the negative mind is always pessimistic, doubtful, and envious. It’s seriously like choosing to be either white and pure OR black and shady. But, be rest assured, in all scenarios of life you have the ability and option to pick and control your state of mind. Your choice of either having a positive mind or a negative mind, is purely under your control.

Choose to be positive.

Choose positivity.

Choose a positive mind.

Because by having a positive mind can take you places you’ve always dreamed of.

With love,

Mary Dezleigh Teodosio

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I Grew Up a Fat Kid – My Body Image Struggles

March 8, 2018

Dear Readers,

HAPPY INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DAY!

As women, we all share the same common insecurities. For instance, most of us are never satisfied with our body; the shape of our bodies seem to be the greatest source of our insecurities. BUT IT SHOULD NEVER BE THAT WAY. In fact our bodies should be the source of our strength. Our bodies can give birth. Our bodies have its purpose. Our bodies are strong… and you should never be ashamed of it.

We all have our own unique body shapes and sizes. You can’t compare an apple to a pear – so why are you comparing your body to that of someone else?

You are inherently unique.

The perfect body doesn’t exist”. That’s a phrase you probably had heard plenty of times… but that phrase is so true. When it comes to body image, I find that women are more critical about how their bodies look than men are. There is this growing stigma of women trying to perfect themselves through any means – healthy or not. This struggle of achieving “the perfect body” has led to mental illness and unhealthy behaviours such as dangerous diets. Women had been characterized to be skinny, but skinny doesn’t mean healthy.

I promote healthy body perceptions. I want all women from all age groups to understand that their bodies are unique and beautiful. Having a healthy body perception means a healthy mental state. Women must empower each other towards being healthy, both physically and mentally. We should empower each other to be healthier – NOT to look “good” but more towards doing our bodies “good”.

I used to be a fat kid. How I improved my body image, started with my drive to live a healthier lifestyle.

I grew up fat. As a fat kid, I grew up being the main target for bullies in kindergarten. As I aged, the bullies from my past stayed within me. I went through junior high with an attitude, driven by my sole desire to fit in and be accepted. Then, when high school came around I finally had a chance to be different (I went to a dominant “white” school, wherein only 10% of the students in my grade were Asians). Although I stood out due to my race, my appearance was still not like the other girls in my grade. They were all Barbies. A living, breathing array of perfect girls – with pretty blonde hair, and beautiful blue eyes. Not to mention, these girls were fit and had “model-like” bodies. I had no chance of being that girl whom all the boys wanted. Thus, I became your typical high school snob. You know, that one cocky kid with an attitude but really has nothing else to back it up… yeah… that was me.

Now that I think about it… I was an awkward teenager. I wasn’t like the girls my age, due to the simple fact that I was a little bigger than them. Back then, my body shape really impacted how I saw myself. I didn’t have enough confidence… I felt isolated… I didn’t feel like I was the person I wanted to be.

I envied other girls who were skinnier than me. I wanted to have a body like them. Regardless of how hard I tried to fit in, I still stood out like a sore thumb. I was really, really, really different. (Or I thought I was….. out of place) So, I went on to high school accepting my difference. I embraced the fat kid in me, and continued to play my part in the minority.

I had lots of insecurities due to the fact that my body was different. I had lots of hatred towards how my body was shaped… I doubted myself too much… I didn’t like how my waist was too big… and I hated how my legs were too thick… worst of all, I hated my big belly. 

All these insecurities that I had gone through as a teenager, were mostly derived from my weight and body size.

This was me before:

ONE DAY I HAD ENOUGH OF IT

The way I fought my battle against “body image” is through improving my body the healthy way. I decided to change the things I disliked, when I knew that the change itself is achievable. That’s when I decided to hit they gym and eat healthier. My lifestyle today is shaped because of my body struggles. My personal “body image” has improved because I changed the way I viewed and lived my life. I’m more confident now, because I made a decision to become a better version of myself.

This is me now:

To change my “body image” and to remove my insecurities, I made a personal promise to myself that I will take better care of my body and live a healthy lifestyle. I started waking up earlier to go to the gym, I started eating more vegetables, and I slowly started to understand that my body is different in a beautiful way. As the days passed, my body was starting to look the way I wanted it to be. Most importantly, I was feeling better than I’ve ever had before.

However, there are still times wherein I find myself too critical of my new and improved body… despite all the progress I made, somehow I’m still insecure.

Even though I’ve gone a long way from who I was before, there are still times wherein I’m not happy about my body. For some reason, I’m still not satisfied of my body even though my body’s changes are noticeable – my followers often comment “goals” on my body pictures in Instagram, but that doesn’t really mean much for me since I’m overcoming my own personal mental struggles. There are times, wherein I still feel like there are so much more work I need to do, and more things I need to change – and no matter how much “likes”, “comments” and “support” I get from my audience, I still feel like it’s not enough.

THEN I REALIZED THIS:

I will never have the perfect body for OTHERS, but I can make my body perfect enough for ME.

The key to a healthy body image, is to love yourself more than anyone else does. In this world, it is close to impossible to please every single human being… so why waste all your energy on being perfect for others?!?!? You’re way better than you think you’re not – you just need to realize it for yourself.

It takes a lot of mental strength to love yourself, but it’s an inherent aptitude.

When you find yourself in an insecure position about your body OR when your confidence is lacking, I want you to reach deep within yourself and BELIEVE.

You are great! You are beautiful! Your body was made for you! It’s a work of art created just for you… it’s an abstract masterpiece designed just for you! Don’t try to change God’s design – embrace it!!!

Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. We all have different standards and views on beauty, and thus, the perfect “body image” doesn’t exist. Take my story for example. Some would consider my current body as “goals” and “perfect” – but I still don’t see it. I know that my body has its own imperfections, and I EMBRACE IT. Pictures can be deceiving, so don’t compare your body to what you see online, on TV and on the magazines. The curves of your waist, to the size of your booty is beautiful – and you should really, really, really love yourself MORE than anyone else does.

You can shape the way YOU want to be beautiful! If you want an IG model body, then work hard for it! If you can’t learn to embrace yourself, and love everything about your body – then who will?

At the end of the day, your body is yours to care for and love… so give it your all, because a work of art needs to be appreciated, not hidden.

I hope this message empowers you. It is International Women’s Day today, and I wanted to share a post that would uplift us all. We’re all beautiful and if we continue to lift each other up, the world would become 100 times stronger and unified than it is today. Don’t let the hate, negativity, and envy drag you down. Lift yourself up and believe in your own worth.

You are simply, amazing.

A personal message to my Readers:

Sorry for my slow blogposts, I’ve been super unmotivated lately… and super tired… plus, I’m about to graduate and I’m focusing so much time on finding a job and doing well in my classes. For now, I’ll try to post at least 3 times a month… but if I can’t keep up, I hope you understand I’m going through a transition in my life.

There are also other personal matters my family is going through at the moment, which I will share with you all once the timing is right.

With love,

Mary Dezleigh Teodosio

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Photo by @hzgunner on Instagram

Reflections of a 4th Year Uni Kid

November 14, 2017

Dear Readers,

4th year of university is a beautiful combination of fear and excitement. Excitement as in you’re so close to being done with school – and the feeling of accomplishment and success is maximized each day as you get closer to graduation day… yet the fear exists as you transition into the stages of adulthood, as in the fear of “growing up”, from job hunting to moving out, to going to work religiously from Mondays to Fridays, all the while paying for your adult bills and student loans.

It’s so fascinating how much time flies within the years you spend in university. I spent 4 autumns studying the mesmerizing world of accounting. I spent four falls and four winters going to campus, studying, drinking my half steeped tea-half french vanilla from Tims, 4 falls and 4 winters worth of stressing about assignments, tests, midterms, and finals. 4 cold winters of driving 20 to 30 minutes everyday on the icy roads of Sarcee Trail and Crowchild. 4 falls and 4 winters of lectures…. note taking…. socializing…. growth… and discovering myself.

Without a doubt, I wouldn’t had wanted it any other way.

During the past 4 years, I made friends, and created enemies too. I met plenty of outstanding individuals, such as Professor Shiraz Kurji who had impacted my life beyond knowledge and pushed me towards self-discovery. I met people who inspires me everyday, and people who had inspired me at times wherein I needed it the most. In the last four fall semesters I spent in Mount Royal University, this fall semester is perhaps the best one.

This fall, with the sight of graduation day inching closer and closer, I find myself more determined to graduate. My desire to conquer everything I have not yet conquered in university is heightened. The new Riddell library is like my second home lately, and the communities around Mount Royal safeguards my car for the day. The gym is like my escape room – a place wherein I can find peace through running on the treadmill. The hallways seem so familiar, yet becoming more unfamiliar each day as newer faces comes in and out. EVERYTHING about this LAST FALL SEMESTER is a mix of joy and sad.

So far, I had learned how to budget my money, prepare my food, wake up early, be punctual, how to send a professional e-mail, file my taxes, balance a balance sheet, prepare financial statements, be a team player, how to lose and gain weight, where to park for free around campus, best times to study, and SO MUCH MORE.

But the best lesson I learned so far, is that time flies fast.

At the beginning, four years of university seemed like a stretch. 4 years seemed too long. Now, as a student in her 4th year, I’m looking back at the past years and questioning myself, “how did time fly so fast….”

For the newbies, the “first year brats”, believe me when I say, “You have so much to learn with so little time”.

With love,

Mary Dezleigh Teodosio.

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