Minor Changes to My Blog – UPDATES TOO!

July 15, 2017

Dear Readers,

I’d like to point out some minor changes I made in my blog. The past few days, I had been going back and forth into my older posts and editing each one of them. In particular, the posts that I retouched are the ones I took from my old Tumblr page. Back then, I would post my material out of passion and eagerness to share it with you all… meaning that I wasn’t really proofreading any of my older work. In addition, most of my original Tumblr posts are all too emotionally difficult for me to bare… therefore I wasn’t always prepared to proofread those contents due to my fear of reliving the emotions I was feeling at that time. Now, I am emotionally back on track and I finally had the time to fix most of them. Thank you for reading my older, “ESL” verified posts (English is their [my] Second Language a.k.a ME).

THANKFUL

This blog is dedicated to all my readers who solely believe that true love still exists. I am sharing my own experiences in my own relationships. I created this blog with the intent of journalizing the lessons I learned and the dreams I hold dear in life. I have so much vision moving forward with this blog and at times I get lost in figuring where I should begin. This blog is now a part of me… my stories are the most genuine aspect of my being… my life is laid out for the world to discover… and my readers are the reasons why I keep going.

Thank you, for reading even though my grammar is not always the best. Thank you, for always being there for each post. Thank you, for growing with me. Thank you, for all the support and kind thoughts!

WHERE’S YOUR NEW CONTENT DEZZZZ?!

Essentially, I want to explain why I haven’t been posting as much as I was in April and May. This happens to me every single time I get into a relationship. I tend to lose track of time and everything around me whenever I get too involved with someone new. It’s not because I’m losing my passion… It’s not because I’m getting lazy to post… It’s more of my own selfish desire to spend as much quality time with the person who has currently captivated my attention. In this case, I just want to spend as much time as I could with Jason (WHO’S JASON? READ: I’m Finally Ready – Meet My Boyfriend).

I recently admitted myself into a new relationship with Jason. He’s not entirely the reason why I’ve been slowing down with my posts… in fact he’s the reason why I have so many posts coming up within the next few months. But for the meantime, I hope you all understand why I barely have any time to keep releasing posts after posts after posts. I want to slowly savour this phase of our relationship and appreciate it as intimately as possible. The phase of getting to know your partner and understanding what defines them is my favorite part of a relationship. Therefore, I will take my time and give most of it to my new man.

BUT I’M DEFINITELY NOT SLACKING EITHER

Behind each “date night” and Netflix marathons, I’m also busy working on the blog and completing business emails for some future social media promotions. Currently, my followers in Instagram will already know that I recently joined the Skinny Coffee Club family as one of their brand ambassadors. Given this new partnership, I’ve been slowly incorporating a new diet into my lifestyle as well as regularly trying to stay active as much as I could. By the end of August, my goal is to finish a post of how to incorporate Skinny Coffee Club’s coffee into your daily life.

In addition, I was recently approached by a “luxurious” watch company in Instagram. This partnership is still in the works, and I will not release any further information until the time is right. For now, just be excited because I will be hosting an Instagram giveaway very soon! Please, if you had not done so yet, follow my Instagram account:

Instagram

Lastly, I am planning to start making more “Story Time Videos” to share in here as well as in my YouTube account. However, I am waiting for September to roll around so I can purchase a better quality camera with my friend’s student discount (I like to be economically wise with my money too!). BUT – I still want to release the video telling how Jason “asked me to be his girlfriend”. I plan to have this video released before the end of July.

Well, there you have it guys!!! Just be patient with me here… I’m really struggling in finding the time to perfectly balance my blog, my new relationship, my social life, my online course, my workouts, and my sleep altogether. But for the sake of my wonderful readers all over the world, I will do it!

My mom raised me to hustle, so a hustler is what I became. 

With love,

Mary Dezleigh Teodosio.

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Be Beautiful, Inside and Out

June 19, 2017

Dear Readers,

Beauty, captivates the attention but a person’s character is what retains the attention. There are plenty of physically attractive people out there, but not all of them will be beautiful in my eyes. I have a high appreciation for physically attractive individuals, however, I find one’s character to be the essence of beauty in a person. If your character is rotten to its core, I could care less if you’re another “Beyoncé”, “Rihanna” or “Kim Kardashian” look alike. I’d much rather have inner beauty than outer beauty because inner beauty lasts forever.

In terms of having the greatest character, I’m nowhere close to an angel. But everyday, I’m trying my best to be the best version of me. I have my own personality flaws too. For instance, I have a temper, and I can be extremely rude and arrogant at times. The darker sides of my personality has caused some serious problems in my life before… and it still does. Mainly, these are the flaws which I made a personal commitment to improve.

Not only do I have flaws in my character, I’m also fighting against the voices in my head whispering all my insecurities to me. It took a ton of courage and a strong spirit for me to slowly defeat these inner demons. In particular, these voices are the root causes of my younger self’s lack of confidence and insecurities. As I aged, I learned different perspectives on life and realized that inner beauty will always outweigh outer beauty. Up to now, I’m still working on being better physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I’m a work in a progress, in fact, WE ALL ARE.

I’ve been that “fat” girl too… (I’m still far from skinny, but I’m working on being healthy, NOT skinny) I know what it feels like to be less attractive than other “prettier” girls… I know how awful it is to compare my body to other girls who seem to have the ideal “model” figure. I know how painful it feels to see your crush or boyfriend gawk at other women… believe me, I’ve been there too. I know how it feels like to be insecure. I know what low self-esteem is like… because I suffered it too. Despite all the negativities, I built myself to value what I had been blessed with rather than what I lacked. It took me many years to overcome my own insecurities. It took me many years to understand that I have my own beauty and flaws just like Beyoncé and Rihanna does. No one is ever perfect, because even the most physically stunning women on the planet will have inner flaws too.

To conquer your insecurities and doubts, you must start from deep within. You need to understand that you must learn to accept and love yourself first. In order to gain belief in your own, you should start believing in your own body, mind, and spirit. Understand that you are worth so much more than you think. Your perception in life should not be based on how others perceive you, rather on how you want to be perceived by yourself. Search for all the beautiful qualities inside you… search for purity, for truth, for honesty, for kindness, for happiness, for positivity, for intelligence, for respect, for morals, search for the love in you. 

Learn how to be beautiful from the inside. Your inner beauty will truly illuminate to everyone around you. Believe me, there’s so much beauty in you… appreciate all of it and understand that your flaws are the reasons why you’re a work of art. We are all imperfect beings and each day we should strive on improving ourselves. Keep shining, keep growing, and keep living beautifully.

With love,

Mary Dezleigh Teodosio.

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The Perfect Man Does Not Exist – My List Keeps Failing Me and My EX BAES

May 18, 2017

Dear Readers,

Ideally, we should all have a catered checklist which consists of qualities, traits, and other requirements we are searching for in a mate. I for one, have a long list of what I want from my next partner. This detailed “checklist” is partially to blame of why my last 3 potential “bae” (slang meaning of: stands for “before anything else”. BAE is someone you care for, admire and/or love) had failed and had been cut from the “boyfriend selection list”.

You see, my list is not that long. However, my list is very, very, very specific. There are 10 core things I had written on my checklist:

1.) Tall – Height must be at least 5’9 – anything taller is strongly desired.

2.) Age and Level of Maturity – Personally, I will not date someone younger than me by over a year – I may however, consider dating someone within a year younger, if his maturity level is a up to par of my expectations. This checklist entry, is driven from my strong attraction to men who are mature enough for a long-term relationship. I am so done affiliating myself with “fuckboys” (slang meaning of: a male who is notoriously known for breaking hearts and sleeping with multiple females. A fuckboy is also someone whose phone password you will never ever know… God forbid, no one must ever know how many DM’s he has slid into OR how many girls he’s currently texting and calling his “bae”).

3.) Stability – In terms of emotional stability, I want a man who knows what he wants, strives for what he wants, and secures what he wants. I don’t have time to be wasting it on unqualified, emotionally unstable boys, I need a man with emotional stability!!!!

4.) Career Oriented – Please, be someone who have a dream and a goal to achieve!! I want my future partner to have a passion in his chosen career. PLUS: I need a man who can financially provide for OUR future family. (WAKE UP LADIES!!! This is real life, stop wasting your time with bums if you’re a woman with a future).

5.) Personality – I need a man who has flavour. To my gents reading this, learn how to be a communicator. Have some humour, be interesting, talk more, tell me stories, let me know about your hobbies, tell me about your mom or your siblings… Seriously, just do something to keep me interested in you. HAVE SOME CHARACTER IN YOU, PLEASE.

6.) Asian (or at least have a strong sense and understanding of the Asian culture) – Having the ability to share my culture with my mate is truly a requirement for me. He must be able to accept and live with my traditions and values, which is why I strongly prefer to date someone from an Asian descent OR date someone who is informed and accepting of my Asian-Filipino culture.

7.) Style – This is a requirement that overshadows the “Tall” requirement. If you’re a short man, but have a great sense of style, I’m willing to drop the height requirement just for that. I like men who have a great sense of style, because I for one like to believe that I am fashionable individual. Preferably, I like men who dress as a unique mixture of hypebeast, hipster, and classy all at once. If you want an example, search up “Brian Puspos” in Instagram (he’s my definition of style bae).

8.) Family Man – My family is an essential part of my life. Therefore, I expect my next bae to be family oriented too.

9.) Loyal – I’ve been cheated on before, and I don’t plan on getting cheated on again. BUT – how can you predict the future and what it entails? How can you tell if the person you’re currently dating is loyal or not? EASY ANSWER: Dive into his past and figure out if he has ever cheated or not. I’m a strong believer that a man who has cheated before, is likely to cheat once again. Also, you can test his loyalty further down the relationship… but until then, looking back into his past is a great start.

10.) Sex Game is Strong – Pretty self-explanatory.

After reading this list, I can finally tell you about the past 3 EX baes I had spent time with from the past few months. These men were amazing in their own rights, but I still deemed them to be not good enough as a partner for me. I felt some connection within these 3 EX baes, but the connection was not enough to satisfy my list. Let me tell you about them real quick and tell you why they were quickly removed off the boyfriend selection list.

BAE 1:

He was the rebound whom “ghosted” (slang meaning of: ignoring someone and randomly disappearing without a trace after all the invested time spent talking to each other) me after all the shady circumstances I put him through. To be honest, he wasn’t much of a loss because he didn’t meet number 1, 2, 3, and 5 in my checklist. This discouraged me from wanting more from him, regardless of what “connection” I was feeling for him at the time. BAE 1 used to be a friend of my ex, who clearly crossed the “bro code” – if such thing still exists in today’s generation. After my ex and I broke up, I used him as a mean to forget and quickly recover from my loss, he became my rebound. At some point, I did consider him as a potential partner and more than just a rebound. He had some checklist material in him, he definitely had number 10 going on… But STILL… the list prevented me from being “good” to him. I didn’t see any strong potential of a long term relationship, which is why I didn’t try hard enough to keep him in my life. So, I deliberately exposed him to his “friend” (my ex) without any deep hesitation or thought into it. Hence, why he ghosted me. #savage

BAE 2:

He is the perfect friend in all aspects, and I truly thought we would become something more than just friends. But then again, like BAE 1 he also failed to meet some items in my lists. For one, he failed to meet number 6 which was an instant turn off for me. Another aspect that bothered me was how his personality just doesn’t click with mine. His interests and hobbies were completely different from mine. So, as much as he had his own character, the 5th item on the list was quite not there for me. BAE 2 also needed to improve on his style game, thus checklist number 7 wasn’t quite there as well. However, he had amazing qualities too!!! He truly has 2, 3, 4, 8, and 9 on lock. Regardless, I had deemed after referring back to my list that we are better off as friends.

BAE 3:

Oh man, this guy is my definition of attractive. BAE 3 definitely has number 1, 5, 7, and 8, on lock. But then again, there are some complications going on with him too… How can one be so physically attractive yet lack stability and loyalty? I shouldn’t let his past define him, but he is a true fuckboy and I don’t have time to be wasting it on a fuckboy. So, with that, he’s also off the boyfriend selection list.

To my avid readers wondering, what happened to American BAE?

Well, he’s still around and we are still talking… I don’t want to give out too much information about this particular “relationship” because we’re currently doing just fine as we are. I don’t want to jinx and ruin something that has the potential of becoming great.

IN ALL

I learned that I still need to keep searching for my “perfect man”. My friend once told me that there is no such thing as a perfect man, and I agree with her. You see, I understand that we all are imperfect and we all have flaws. But the point of having this list is to select a handful of qualities and characteristics you truly want from your partner, which can hopefully outweigh all the other flaws. If this list was meant for me to find the perfect man, there should be more items on it than just the 10 points I had listed. If this list was aimed at finding the perfect man, I should have 200 more items in the list… but no… It’s not about finding the perfect man, it’s more about finding the one man worth accepting all his other flaws for. This list exists as a guide to remind me of what I want, and what I need. Until then, if I can’t find a person who fits this list every other man will just feel subpar and inadequate.

So… with this in mind, I hope you keep searching lovelies… keep believing that your soulmate is out there somewhere and that he/she is searching for you too.

With love,

Mary Dezleigh Teodosio.