CANCER

Dear Readers,

In light of being a positive individual, it is often difficult to remain positive when the threat of cancer killing the ones you love lingers too close to home. I have two family members who are currently fighting cancer.

This post is for them. Out of respect for those I love, I refuse to share who in my family are fighting cancer. Those closest to me, already know.

Our first family member was diagnosed with breast cancer about a few years back. She was able to defeat cancer for a short time by removing both her breasts. Roughly 5 months ago, the cancer has reappeared. Unfortunately, the cancer has spread through her back and are active once again. She’s currently going through chemotherapy and radiation.

Our second family member is a recent breast cancer victim. She discovered her breast cancer when she felt an unusual bump in her breast. After visiting the doctor about it and getting tested, we found out that the bump was due to cancer. Thankfully, she was able to catch it at the cancer’s early stages. Right now, she is following all the procedures to eliminate the cancer cells, which includes chemo, radiation, and rest.

I wanted to share this post in my admiration for these two women. 

They are so strong. Regardless of their current life battle, they somehow maintain a positive and uplifting state of mind that truly inspires me. For the countless times I’ve been spending with these two women, not once had I seen them cry. Although, they’re not in their best physical condition, these women refuse to show weakness. They carry out their daily routines such as driving, household chores, and regular exercise, like the cancer doesn’t even exist. Best of all, they both still have the brightest smile in the world. Their inner strength to continue on with life the best they can given their circumstances is remarkable. Both women carry this “push through and carry on” attitude that I idolize the most.

What I admire more than their strength, is their ability to remain hopeful.

There are plenty of times in life wherein it seems like hope is lost. Yet, despite all the struggles and bumps that life throws at these two women, they still manage to remain hopeful… hopeful that things will get better…. hopeful that this is only a temporary storm and that sunny days are coming soon… hopeful that everything that withers, turn into something beautiful.

Cancer affects not only the victims, but their families too. In my story, cancer is a burden to every single member of our family. At some point, the cancer shattered us more than it did to the victims. There is not a single person in this world who wants to see their loved ones suffer… unfortunately, we have to. I can’t even begin to tell you how many nights I’ve had of just laying in bed and crying endlessly, because the pain of seeing them hurt is too unbearable. The fear of losing someone dear to you is a losing battle that you must overcome regardless. Being stronger for the ones you love is the biggest lesson I’ve learned so far. I didn’t want to show weakness around my family members with cancer, simply because I knew they’re fighting with their inner selves too. I wanted them to focus on healing and being strong for themselves, and I knew that showing signs of weakness around these two women would break their hearts even more. Strong women uplifts other strong women – this is a lesson for all.

Despite the negative impact that cancer causes families and friends, it also has a strong pulling factor that brings forth togetherness.

THERE IS HOPE AND THERE IS LOVE.  

When a family or individual is being at threat of losing their lives, that’s when hope comes into fruition. At the darkest and most difficult times in our lives, it is often hope that keeps us afloat. Hope is the reason why we believe. Hope is the reason why we remain positive. Hope is the reason why we continue on living. Hope gives us a ray of light to look for, when everything around us has gone dark.

There is also love. During these trivial moments of cancer attacking our homes and lives, the love we have for each other has been tested and proven. Cancer will truly test your character and the amount of love you possess. For when times got really fucking rough, our love for each other was the only reason that pushed us forward. Our love enabled us to support one another, to encourage positivity, to uplift the other, and to believe in miracles. The love we have, was strengthened by cancer. Love brought distant families and distant relatives closer. Love called distant friends for immediate affection. Love gave us all the comfort to know that this fight against a common enemy will result in victory.

This is just another chapter in their lives. A chapter that is not the most favoured by all, yet an important one to live through. Cancer affects many families other than mine. Cancer is society’s biggest foe. Of all the amazing cancer survival stories out there, I’m sure the women in my life will have their own too. I believe they will be cured. I believe that the dark days are soon to be over. My family believes in it too.

Together, my family will stand stronger. Together, we’ll get through this chapter.

AN IMPORTANT REMINDER TO ALL:

Cancer is no joke. Which is why I was determined to get tested and screened for the status of my health. To all my readers, please go visit your family doctor for a physical check-up!!!

I recently got a physical test to examine my own health condition, and that physical included a PAP TEST. My first PAP TEST was quite a unique experience! To my younger female readers who still hasn’t had their PAP TEST done, please make sure you take this test once you turn 21 years old! After your first one, please continue on getting your physical checks yearly, and getting your PAP TEST once every 3 years.

What is the PAP TEST? 

Read the link here for more info: PAP TEST

In other words, a PAP TEST checks your cervix for any abnormalities… it’s a test that screens for cancer conditions and/or infections. The process is quite shocking to women who may not had sexual intercourse yet. For those who are sexually active, it shouldn’t be a painful test at all. What they do during the test, is they insert this tube like device inside your vagina and then the doctor swabs inside your vagina to collect samples of your cells. PAP TESTS are very uncomfortable, and I highly recommend doing this process with your trusted family doctor.

In all, I want everyone to know that the cancer battle within my family is very personal for me. This part of my story took some deep thinking and courage to share. To the millions of families like mine, who are currently in war against cancer, I want you all to know I’m with you on this fight. I will pray for yours, as I hope you pray for mine.

With love,

Mary Dezleigh Teodosio

My Take on Being a Social Media Influencer

January 16, 2018

Dear Readers,

What does it mean to be a role model and social media influencer?

This is a question which has been circulating my mind for the past few days. Today, this question wouldn’t leave me alone. Here are my thoughts on this particular topic:

Shockingly, my blog has readers who truly commit and follow my story… every inch of the way. I am thankful for all of you. In fact, a friend of mine from university told me a story about how she came across two girls at a party who recognized her because of me. My friend, let’s call her “El”, was at a party with her boyfriend “Marv”. At the party, two girls approached them and asked, “do you know Dez”. Without further hesitation, El responded with a strong “yes”. Out of all the questions in the world to ask, the two girls managed to connect my friends to ME as DEZLEIGHH. After being questioned about their relationship to me, El and Marv were wondering how the two girls recognized them through ME… without a doubt, even I got curious too.

As it turns out, the two girls recognized El and Marv from my social media stories and posts. The two lovely ladies are my followers on Instagram and readers of my blog. It’s amazing how my life’s stories touches and reaches so many people. I can only imagine the look on El’s face when those two girls approached her asking about ME, like I was some sort of celebrity… like some girl who seems unreal. The two girls even told El how much they can relate to my story, and how much they enjoy my content and posts… they complimented me so much that it touched my soul and heart just listening to El telling me all about it. It made me feel like I’m living in a fantasy, a surreal moment that I never could imagine to be true. But to be honest, I am real and my friends are real, and my boyfriend is real, and my family too! EVERYTHING YOU’RE READING ON HERE, IS THE MOST GENUINE VERSION OF ME YOU CAN EVER GET… and that’s a fact.

It is the sweetest form of compliment and endearment every time I hear people praise my blog. Those who has supported me throughout my whole journey as a blogger will see my own growth as a writer, and human being. Back in the older days, my original readers would recall and notice the difference between my lack of “proof-reading” and insufferable grammatical errors – to my now, more refined works. Even I can tell that I had grown so much as a writer throughout the years, and to be appreciated by the community is the best reward!

Another amazing “reader/follower” interaction I had come across to, was way back in the summer of 2017. At the time, I was out in Banff with my family and Jason. We were taking a lovely walk at the Fairmont Banff Hotel when this young girl, with beautiful blonde hair stood excitedly, waving and smiling at me. At first, I was trying my best to remember or recognize who she was. She hurriedly approach me and I suddenly realized that this girl is not someone I know… and as she got closer to me, she said with such excitement and joy, “Hi, you’re Dezleigh, I follow you on Instagram and I read your blogs”.

I will never forget that girl. She was the first girl who had the honesty, courage, and spirit to compliment my blog in person and showed me her support and encouragements. Her lovely greeting was my reality… it was at that moment I knew that I want to keep inspiring people through my stories… through my words… through this blog. Even Jason was quite astounded by her reaction upon seeing me… we were fairly a new couple at the time, so he didn’t really know just how big my blog was… to be honest, even I didn’t know how big my blog was too… or how big my blog will become… But you guys never fail to remind me, that I will always have an audience willing to listen and willing to understand my story. All I have to do, is to write and share it.

BUT, what does it mean to be a role model and influencer?

I now understand that I have an audience who actively reads my blog. My life impacts theirs, and my stories are an influential aspect in their lives. I feel like I have a personal responsibility of due care to these readers. I am their role model… the person whose words and stories have a significant or perhaps minimal impact on their lives. Despite the level of reach I have, at some point my readers will learn a thing or two from me… and I must make sure that the lessons I teach are to be proud of. At the very least, I want my stories to stem a source of inspiration for everyone.

I’m in no means a “perfect person”. I think that my irregularities and different view of the world is what makes my readers stay and attract more readers. I truly view life as a learning process… I learn knew things about myself everyday. The people who are the closest to me cultivates the way I grow, and the inner voice inside my head helps me to understand that I have so many flaws I need to work on. “Perfect” and “role model” are perhaps two concepts that truly doesn’t define me.

The concept of me being a “role model” is actually quite heavy. I know that most of my readers are learning a lot from my own relationship failures all the way through my personal lifestyle… but that is not enough to make me a role model. A role model is someone who has impacted the world to such an extent that is revolutionary. A role model is someone whose actions had shed a positive light to millions and millions of people. “Role models” are those individuals who are so close to being perfect human beings, if perfect human beings ever existed. A “role model” are the likes of Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King, Steve Jobs, and even Béyonce. I am nowhere close to these individuals.

I prefer to think of myself as an influencer.

As an influencer, the title is less serious than a role model… which gives me more breathing room and freedom to make mistakes. I am now starting to understand that my blog has an influence on people… and that I must protect my influence through writing stories that are genuine, and uniquely about me. I only want to inspire people and teach them a thing or two about life. In return, all I really want is for you to read my content with an open mind.

I want to impact people’s lives in a positive light. At this time in my life I had grown to understand that my mistakes and struggles can help someone else in dire need. To those who are willing to search for a helpline, a person to talk to, someone who will listen, or someone who will never judge them, then that person is ME. This is not a joke when I say, “I will always be there for people who needs me”. I honestly check my DMs on a daily basis and I will always reply… I always get DMs from randoms and strangers who just want to vent, share their problems, and ask for my opinion. I’ve had read the most outrageous DMs to the most touching DMs – and to my very best, I will try to shed some light into your darkness, but at the end of the day I am not perfect. My opinions and advices can only go for so long and eventually, your life is still yours to live.

It is often a struggle finding what stories to tell, what content to post, and what ideas to promote. I started this blog with 100% authenticity and I want to maintain my integrity as an individual. Thus, my desire to be a real person in the internet and sharing only what I feel is genuine is what I want to do and nothing else. I want to keep influencing people in a way that is positive. I will make mistakes, and that is fine because I’m human too. But the most important aspects about my mistakes are the lessons I learned.

In all, I just wanted to say “thank you so much from the bottom of my heart”, for still reading my blogs. To more stories to tell and lessons to learn in 2018!

With love,

Mary Dezleigh Teodosio.

 

 

The Lessons Time Can Teach

October 1, 2017

Dear Readers,

This time around last year I was in a toxic relationship that blinded me from seeing my own truth. This time last year, I had different goals, and my priorities were not the same. It took a heartbreak to make me realize how I was straying farther and farther away from the person I truly wanted to be.

I had to redefine myself, and correct the past mistakes I made.

The past few weeks I had been trying to figure out myself. In the broadest way, I went searching for how I want “Mary Dezleigh Teodosio” to be like around this time again next year. A year ago I thought I would be someone else, and now I’m reevaluating it all. Now, I find myself picking up the slack on all the lectures I missed, waking up earlier for all the days I slept too much in, eating healthier for all the crappy food I had been feeding my body, socializing more in return for all the missed memories I could had made, working harder, being better, and loving a hundred times stronger.

The future is truly unpredictable. Tomorrow holds thousands of uncertainties. The next hour is another chapter to unravel. The next minute still has more. The next second is still a breath away. So, how am I suppose to prepare myself right now for who I will be tomorrow… next week… next month… next year? Who will I be then?

This is how I learned to believe and have faith that the greater good will come to those who wait. Patience learned from the cruelty of time, is a lesson worth learning. Time is neither a foe or an ally. Time is simply a measure of when the seasons change, the days passing, and the amount of growth we make. In so, I learned that time can be whatever you make it to be. Since time itself is not the sole indicator of one’s growth, time can be construed to fit in any possible way you want it to be. If you want to take your time in doing things a certain way, then so be it. If rushing and living life on the fast lane is more your style, then go for it! You have the ability to control your own time and how you want it to be spent – your life is yours to live.

But there is one lesson that our time will teach us in return.

Time taught me how to be patient. Regardless of how slow or fast I took things, I learned that if it’s not meant to be for me, it won’t happen. I learned that no matter how much I planned and dreamed, if it wasn’t destined for me, it won’t happen. For each failure in relationships, academics, life, and love I’ve ever had, I learned that there is a purpose behind it all. My patience taught me how to be strong and how to have faith in the uncertainties of life. I learned that I don’t always know the answer on “how to live a good life” and sometimes, what I want is simply not meant for me.

I learned that time can create better beings in lost souls. I learned that people can change in due time. I learned that we all have a purpose in this life, and eventually we will slowly unravel it day by day… but only to unravel so little of that purpose, and not to reveal its entirety. I learned that our quest to seek for our full life’s purpose, in chasing for time, and being patient throughout the process of its discovery is what creates a meaningful life.

Importantly, I learned to believe that everything happens for a reason, and that our time is the most valuable component of our lives.

At this point, I’m still trying to figure out who, what, and where I want to be in life. However, the process of figuring it all out is so much easier now since I had been falling in love with someone new. Love is so unpredictable, one minute you’re in love, then you’re out of love, and next thing you know you’re back to falling in love all over again.

Yes – I am talking about Mr. Jason Yang. His arrival in my life made me realize that I can fall in love again, and correct my past faults. I’ve been so lost in falling in love, yet I had not fallen out of myself either. Right now, I had found a partner I can build a future with… and our dream coincidentally match each other’s. I finally found a match to push me academically, professionally, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. And to think that the last year me didn’t know about this person coming into my life today… is insanely absurd!!!

Meeting Jason is proof that good things will come to those who wait. Meeting Jason gave my past troubles a reason. Meeting Jason is giving me a purpose to be better. Who knew that losing an old flame can result into a bigger, brighter, and stronger flame… a flame big enough to outshine the sun in me, like a supernova just waiting to explode… not in a catastrophic end, but towards rebirth of a new star.

With love,

Mary Dezleigh Teodosio.

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