My Take on Being a Social Media Influencer

January 16, 2018

Dear Readers,

What does it mean to be a role model and social media influencer?

This is a question which has been circulating my mind for the past few days. Today, this question wouldn’t leave me alone. Here are my thoughts on this particular topic:

Shockingly, my blog has readers who truly commit and follow my story… every inch of the way. I am thankful for all of you. In fact, a friend of mine from university told me a story about how she came across two girls at a party who recognized her because of me. My friend, let’s call her “El”, was at a party with her boyfriend “Marv”. At the party, two girls approached them and asked, “do you know Dez”. Without further hesitation, El responded with a strong “yes”. Out of all the questions in the world to ask, the two girls managed to connect my friends to ME as DEZLEIGHH. After being questioned about their relationship to me, El and Marv were wondering how the two girls recognized them through ME… without a doubt, even I got curious too.

As it turns out, the two girls recognized El and Marv from my social media stories and posts. The two lovely ladies are my followers on Instagram and readers of my blog. It’s amazing how my life’s stories touches and reaches so many people. I can only imagine the look on El’s face when those two girls approached her asking about ME, like I was some sort of celebrity… like some girl who seems unreal. The two girls even told El how much they can relate to my story, and how much they enjoy my content and posts… they complimented me so much that it touched my soul and heart just listening to El telling me all about it. It made me feel like I’m living in a fantasy, a surreal moment that I never could imagine to be true. But to be honest, I am real and my friends are real, and my boyfriend is real, and my family too! EVERYTHING YOU’RE READING ON HERE, IS THE MOST GENUINE VERSION OF ME YOU CAN EVER GET… and that’s a fact.

It is the sweetest form of compliment and endearment every time I hear people praise my blog. Those who has supported me throughout my whole journey as a blogger will see my own growth as a writer, and human being. Back in the older days, my original readers would recall and notice the difference between my lack of “proof-reading” and insufferable grammatical errors – to my now, more refined works. Even I can tell that I had grown so much as a writer throughout the years, and to be appreciated by the community is the best reward!

Another amazing “reader/follower” interaction I had come across to, was way back in the summer of 2017. At the time, I was out in Banff with my family and Jason. We were taking a lovely walk at the Fairmont Banff Hotel when this young girl, with beautiful blonde hair stood excitedly, waving and smiling at me. At first, I was trying my best to remember or recognize who she was. She hurriedly approach me and I suddenly realized that this girl is not someone I know… and as she got closer to me, she said with such excitement and joy, “Hi, you’re Dezleigh, I follow you on Instagram and I read your blogs”.

I will never forget that girl. She was the first girl who had the honesty, courage, and spirit to compliment my blog in person and showed me her support and encouragements. Her lovely greeting was my reality… it was at that moment I knew that I want to keep inspiring people through my stories… through my words… through this blog. Even Jason was quite astounded by her reaction upon seeing me… we were fairly a new couple at the time, so he didn’t really know just how big my blog was… to be honest, even I didn’t know how big my blog was too… or how big my blog will become… But you guys never fail to remind me, that I will always have an audience willing to listen and willing to understand my story. All I have to do, is to write and share it.

BUT, what does it mean to be a role model and influencer?

I now understand that I have an audience who actively reads my blog. My life impacts theirs, and my stories are an influential aspect in their lives. I feel like I have a personal responsibility of due care to these readers. I am their role model… the person whose words and stories have a significant or perhaps minimal impact on their lives. Despite the level of reach I have, at some point my readers will learn a thing or two from me… and I must make sure that the lessons I teach are to be proud of. At the very least, I want my stories to stem a source of inspiration for everyone.

I’m in no means a “perfect person”. I think that my irregularities and different view of the world is what makes my readers stay and attract more readers. I truly view life as a learning process… I learn knew things about myself everyday. The people who are the closest to me cultivates the way I grow, and the inner voice inside my head helps me to understand that I have so many flaws I need to work on. “Perfect” and “role model” are perhaps two concepts that truly doesn’t define me.

The concept of me being a “role model” is actually quite heavy. I know that most of my readers are learning a lot from my own relationship failures all the way through my personal lifestyle… but that is not enough to make me a role model. A role model is someone who has impacted the world to such an extent that is revolutionary. A role model is someone whose actions had shed a positive light to millions and millions of people. “Role models” are those individuals who are so close to being perfect human beings, if perfect human beings ever existed. A “role model” are the likes of Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King, Steve Jobs, and even Béyonce. I am nowhere close to these individuals.

I prefer to think of myself as an influencer.

As an influencer, the title is less serious than a role model… which gives me more breathing room and freedom to make mistakes. I am now starting to understand that my blog has an influence on people… and that I must protect my influence through writing stories that are genuine, and uniquely about me. I only want to inspire people and teach them a thing or two about life. In return, all I really want is for you to read my content with an open mind.

I want to impact people’s lives in a positive light. At this time in my life I had grown to understand that my mistakes and struggles can help someone else in dire need. To those who are willing to search for a helpline, a person to talk to, someone who will listen, or someone who will never judge them, then that person is ME. This is not a joke when I say, “I will always be there for people who needs me”. I honestly check my DMs on a daily basis and I will always reply… I always get DMs from randoms and strangers who just want to vent, share their problems, and ask for my opinion. I’ve had read the most outrageous DMs to the most touching DMs – and to my very best, I will try to shed some light into your darkness, but at the end of the day I am not perfect. My opinions and advices can only go for so long and eventually, your life is still yours to live.

It is often a struggle finding what stories to tell, what content to post, and what ideas to promote. I started this blog with 100% authenticity and I want to maintain my integrity as an individual. Thus, my desire to be a real person in the internet and sharing only what I feel is genuine is what I want to do and nothing else. I want to keep influencing people in a way that is positive. I will make mistakes, and that is fine because I’m human too. But the most important aspects about my mistakes are the lessons I learned.

In all, I just wanted to say “thank you so much from the bottom of my heart”, for still reading my blogs. To more stories to tell and lessons to learn in 2018!

With love,

Mary Dezleigh Teodosio.

 

 

Reflections of a 4th Year Uni Kid

November 14, 2017

Dear Readers,

4th year of university is a beautiful combination of fear and excitement. Excitement as in you’re so close to being done with school – and the feeling of accomplishment and success is maximized each day as you get closer to graduation day… yet the fear exists as you transition into the stages of adulthood, as in the fear of “growing up”, from job hunting to moving out, to going to work religiously from Mondays to Fridays, all the while paying for your adult bills and student loans.

It’s so fascinating how much time flies within the years you spend in university. I spent 4 autumns studying the mesmerizing world of accounting. I spent four falls and four winters going to campus, studying, drinking my half steeped tea-half french vanilla from Tims, 4 falls and 4 winters worth of stressing about assignments, tests, midterms, and finals. 4 cold winters of driving 20 to 30 minutes everyday on the icy roads of Sarcee Trail and Crowchild. 4 falls and 4 winters of lectures…. note taking…. socializing…. growth… and discovering myself.

Without a doubt, I wouldn’t had wanted it any other way.

During the past 4 years, I made friends, and created enemies too. I met plenty of outstanding individuals, such as Professor Shiraz Kurji who had impacted my life beyond knowledge and pushed me towards self-discovery. I met people who inspires me everyday, and people who had inspired me at times wherein I needed it the most. In the last four fall semesters I spent in Mount Royal University, this fall semester is perhaps the best one.

This fall, with the sight of graduation day inching closer and closer, I find myself more determined to graduate. My desire to conquer everything I have not yet conquered in university is heightened. The new Riddell library is like my second home lately, and the communities around Mount Royal safeguards my car for the day. The gym is like my escape room – a place wherein I can find peace through running on the treadmill. The hallways seem so familiar, yet becoming more unfamiliar each day as newer faces comes in and out. EVERYTHING about this LAST FALL SEMESTER is a mix of joy and sad.

So far, I had learned how to budget my money, prepare my food, wake up early, be punctual, how to send a professional e-mail, file my taxes, balance a balance sheet, prepare financial statements, be a team player, how to lose and gain weight, where to park for free around campus, best times to study, and SO MUCH MORE.

But the best lesson I learned so far, is that time flies fast.

At the beginning, four years of university seemed like a stretch. 4 years seemed too long. Now, as a student in her 4th year, I’m looking back at the past years and questioning myself, “how did time fly so fast….”

For the newbies, the “first year brats”, believe me when I say, “You have so much to learn with so little time”.

With love,

Mary Dezleigh Teodosio.

DSC08592_FotorDSC08582_FotorDSC08589_FotorDSC08506_FotorDSC08555_FotorDSC08419_Fotor

Allow Yourself to Fall in Love Again

July 4, 2017

Dear Readers,

The ones who had been scarred by love, their trust is not easy to earn. The ones who had been destroyed by love, they’re the ones whose hearts are cold yet beautiful all at once. It’s not easy to forget about the pain of a past breakup, and for the most part that pain affects any relationships you may have at present. The pain reminds you of how beautiful love can be and how awful it can end. Unfortunately, the pain may also prevent you from committing too hard or giving all your love away to any of your future or current relationships. Deep inside the broken, there is a fear of love and that is why the ones who had been broken before have a colder heart than most.

Nothing is more haunting than being betrayed by love. Nothing is more painful than heartbreak. 

Within each wounded heart, there is this lingering hesitation of committing and falling in love. No one wants to fall in love again just to end up being broken like their past. Due to the fear of getting hurt, we tend to build walls to protect ourselves from the pain. Some, may build walls just enough to let others in, while some will build walls too high that will make it nearly impossible for anyone to enter. This behaviour is determined by how much pain a person suffered after a breakup. The ones who built low walls suffered minimal pain, while the ones who built the highest walls suffered the most pain. Regardless of how much pain one suffered, any pain of love is still an excruciating pain. This pain will live deep within each brokenhearted soul and this will remind them not to fall too fast or to fall too much. 

Each relationship we invest ourselves in will have the potential of becoming our “forever”, while some will become a life lesson. Unsuccessful relationships will strengthen us, but it will also change the way we love. As a person, we will learn to protect ourselves because of our fear of getting hurt again. At the same time, our past relationships will also teach us how to be a better partner and lover. After going through a rough history with love, a beautiful mix of fear and desire will sprout within your heart. Fear of being in love and the desire of being loved once again. This unexplainable mix of emotions varies for each individual. Some will want to find love again as soon as possible to replace the pain. Some will want to avoid love as much as possible in order to protect themselves from suffering pain again. Some will be right in between.

You will never love like your old love was, you will only love better for the next. 

To the ones who will purposefully avoid being in love, they’re the ones who suffered the most heartache. Thus, their hearts had grown too cold and unwelcoming. I believe that those cold hearts still possess the potential of loving once again. It will be difficult to give warmth to a frozen heart…. but once the right individual comes along, the ice on the surface will slowly begin to melt. All you need to do is to wait for the right one and allow yourself to fall in love once again. Someday, the right person will make every heartache you suffered worthwhile.

In my personal experience, I had gone through a dark and miserable heartbreak once. This blog was created due to that awful experience. I started to share my heartbreak as a public display of my anger on love. At some point, I was consumed more of hatred than love. At some point my heart was so cold, it was infeasible to find warmth. However, deep down within me, regardless of how broken my soul was I still believed that someone out there will be deserving of my love. I knew I will fall in love again. I knew I had the potential of loving someone unconditionally just like that person would reciprocate my love. There may be fears of getting hurt still existing within me, but I know for certain that I must try to let someone in once more. I know for certain that my fear should not affect my happiness. I needed to allow myself to find someone with the potential of becoming my “forever”. I needed to let someone in.

I had my own share of fears of falling in love again, but those fears were not enough to deny someone in…

Today, I am more than happy to announce that on June 25th, 2017 I finally allowed a new person into my heart. Dear Readers, there is an amazing man behind my soul’s warmth and joy. He’s exceptional and he has earned a special place in my heart. He’s the reason why my heart is as warm as it could ever be this summer. I can’t wait to share more of our growing relationship with you all!!!

With love,

Mary Dezleigh Teodosio.

IMG_1121